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We both quickly became too intoxicated to be proud enough of what follows for me to use my wife's real name, so we'll just call her Bob. Our apartment looked like it had housed a gang of preschoolers hopped up on fruit punch and coated in fingerpaints. Muddy prints of body parts smudged the couch, the wood floor, the mirror, and the coffee table. Our bodies were camouflaged in paint like some sort of elite commando sex team.

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Few of us have ever needed an excuse to lick our partner from head to toe, but no one ever turned down an offer of chocolate either.

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All of the above glided on rather smoothly, with the texture being more like a whipped paint that was thick rather then wateryand surprisingly tasted decent- in fact, some of them actually tasted really good! Each package I was sent had 4 pots of. The pots were packaged neatly within a cardboard holder to separate them and were all sealed for the consumers safety, and I would assume a longer shelf life.

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