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Stephenie Meyer's subconscious has a lot to answer for. Almost 10 years ago, as a young mother in Arizona, she had a dream about an average teenage girl and a beautiful male vampire, sitting in a meadow, lost in conversation about the difficulties of their relationship. The specific problem was that if they became too close — if they gave in to the girl's intense desires — he'd hurt and potentially kill her.

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You know I went to school for this. Right here? The concept of the episode is teed up, the characters poke fun at it, and we all move forward. Lord Tubbington is, in fact, a slumlord.

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